Answer These Questions and We’ll Tell You Your Startup Name

Let’s get this straight. Some wordplays are OK, others are not. There are creative names that you can give your startup that actually serve to distinguish your brand and give character to it, and there are ridiculous abominations that do more to scare away your potential customers than to attract them. Sometimes they sound like a nickname that you would give a very small, very pointless pet animal, and sometimes they just sound like a cough.

In honor of all the hilarious, truly puzzling, indecipherable riddles of startup names that we’ve been seeing at trade fairs, we decided to make a quiz that’ll help you find the perfect name for your tech startup, just by answering a few random questions about yourself!

Some of these questions may seem totally unrelated… And they mostly are. But who cares when at the end, you’ll find out what startup name the universe has chosen for you?

Warning: tech geeky content ahead. Proceed with caution.

Find Out What’s Your Startup Name!

Answer These Questions and We'll Tell You Your Startup Name
Image Credit: GaudiLab / Shutterstock, Inc.

Let’s start with the basics. Which industry are you most interested in?

A) Artificial Intelligence

B) Health/Medtech

C) Education Technology

D) Ecommerce

E) Mobile

F) IoT

G) Cyber Security

H) Fintech

I) Other

 

Which of the following sentences have you said before?

A) I don’t understand all the hype around VR. It’s just a fad.

B) I prefer a robot’s touch to a human’s.

C) I don’t think kids should learn to write with a pen. Why not just teach them how to type?

D) I can’t remember the last time I actually stepped into a physical store, bought something with cash and carried it home. In my hands.

E) Chatbots are much more entertaining than humans.

F) My fridge forgot to add cheese to my grocery list. How does that even happen?

G) If I had to choose between my phone or my wallet getting stolen with all my documents, I’d choose to keep my phone.

H) I wish fountains accepted Apple Pay. I mean, are we still throwing coins in there, really?

I) I’d never say stuff like that out loud. My thoughts, however…

 

Who is your favorite tech personality?

A) Satya Nadella (Microsoft)

B) Elon Musk (Tesla)

C) Jeff Bezos (Amazon)

D) Jack Ma (Alibaba)

E) Paul Eremenko (Google)

F) Reed Hastings (Netflix)

G) Jony Ive (Apple)

H) Travis Kalanick (Uber)

I) Other/I have no idea who any of these people are.

 

If you were to get a new office, what would you buy first?

A) A dog.

B) A Madam Tussauds-style statue of Steve Jobs.

C) A mini golf course.

D) A smoothie maker and a popcorn machine.

E) Colorful bean bags, each big enough for three people.

F) A massage table.

G) King-sized monitors for everyone.

H) Desks.

I) Other.

 

Who is your favorite Youtuber/social media influencer?

A) Lewis Hilsenteger (Unbox Therapy)

B) Casey Neistat

C) Austin Evans

D) Judner Aura (UrAvgConsumer)

E) Evan Fong (Vanoss Gaming)

F) Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg (PewDiePie)

G) Marques Brownlee (MKBHD)

H) Erica Griffin

I) Other/I have no idea who any of these people are.

 

This is where it gets personal. Which one were you when you were in high school?

A) The new kid on the block that everyone wants to be friends with.

B) The weird introvert with a severe case of acne.

C) The fun exchange student that doesn’t speak English.

D) The popular blonde that everyone wants to be (with).

E) The gossip girl that spreads rumors about everyone.

F) The hot football player that everyone wants to be (with).

G) The computer nerd that everyone thinks is a hacker.

H) The jokester that everyone laughs at. Not with.

I) Other

 

Your hobbies include…

A) Any sports that require some sexy gear and were literally invented five minutes ago, like flyboarding or powerbocking.

B) Sampling cold-brewed coffee.

C) Having philosophical conversations about just how misunderstood Chihuahuas are.

D) Anti-urban stuff, like archery and horseback riding.

E) iPhone photography.

F) Bar hopping with friends.

G) Chatting up girl/guys at the dog park (whether you actually have a dog is irrelevant).

H) Posting feminist comments on social media.

I) Other

 

Which Star Wars character do you identify with the most?

A) R2D2

B) Qui-Gon Jin

C) Princess Leia

D) Han Solo

E) Count Dooku

F) Chewbacca

G) Luke Skywalker

H) Kylo Ren

I) Other

 

And now for the results!

If most of your answers were A), your startup name is… GloboBot!

If most of your answers were B), your startup name is… DangET!

If most of your answers were C), your startup name is… Hoot Whoot!

If most of your answers were D), your startup name is… X-Amplify!

If most of your answers were E), your startup name is… HugYaMan!

If most of your answers were F), your startup name is… BlokBooster!

If most of your answers were G), your startup name is… E-den!

If most of your answers were H), your startup name is… Wrocket!

If most of your answers were I), your startup name is… You clearly have no idea who you are, so how should we know?

 

Congratulations, now you know your startup name!

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